From Darkness to Light: Navigating My Mental Health Journey with Holistic Strategies
Have you ever struggled with your mental health? Personally, I've struggled with mental health issues my entire life, but I didn't realize what it was until I was an adult and I didn't have many tools to help me navigate it.
A few years ago, my mental health tanked and I was in a really dark place. In this episode, I talk about that tough time in my mental health journey, how I found my way out of the darkness, and the holistic - mind, body, spirit - strategies I use now to support my mental health today.
Content warning: this episode briefly mentions self-harm and suicide ideation.
In this episode I discuss:
[01:03] - The dark days of mental illness
[04:38] - Tools to support my emotional + mental well-being
[16:30] - Nurturing my body to support my mental health
[28:35] - Nurturing my soul
[34:45] - The most important tool I've discovered
More of a reader? I got you…
A Dark Season of Mental Illness
Several years ago, I was privately struggling with depression, anxiety, self harm, and suicide ideation. My husband was worried, but most people probably couldn't tell. Even our families didn't really know.
Some of our close friends told my husband they were concerned about me. When my husband told me that, I was surprised that someone else could see I wasn't doing well. The truth was, I didn't realize how unwell I was myself.
My brain was in this thick fog. I was dealing with mood swings, intense anxiety, paranoia, rage. I felt overwhelmed constantly. I'd have panic attacks that seemed to last hours, even when Google said they should only last 20 minutes. During those panic attacks, my heart would race, I felt like I couldn't breathe properly, and I sometimes was worried I was having a heart attack.
But even with all that going on, I didn't realize I needed serious help.
At the time, I had never been to therapy, and I didn't have many tools to support my mental health. I remember the overwhelming intensity of emotions that seemed insurmountable. The emotional pain was so acute and unbearable that, at times, I resorted to self-harm, using physical pain as a way to divert my mind from the emotional turmoil that loomed over me.
I spent a lot of time crying, writing goodbye notes to my family, and at one point, I was so desperate for relief that I hastily made a plan to escape this life. Thankfully, my husband walked in before I could get too far.
But it was a huge wake up call.
The dark fog over my brain parted just enough for me to realize that I was unwell and needed help immediately. I made a call to see a therapist right away.
Therapy, in combination with supplements, meditation and other mental health tools, along with the support of my loving husband, saved my life.
My Mental Health Today
Since those challenging times, I've made significant progress. Although some days are still tough, the heavy cloud over my mind has lifted. Sometimes, that fog comes back, but the big difference now is that I have several tools to help me get through it.
These tools might not work for everyone, but I want to share what's been helpful and supportive for my mental health.
A Note to Those In a Dark Season of Mental Health…
If you're struggling with your mental health or in that thick fog right now, I'm so sorry. It is so hard. I'm sending you so much love. If you're not in a place where you can access or do any of the strategies I share, I hope at the very least that I can give you some hope.
You won't feel this way forever. Hold on. The sun rises every day. The dark weight you feel will be lifted. This isn't permanent. The light will come.
Mind, Body, Spirit: A Holistic Approach to Mental Health
I have lots of tools that I use to support my mental health, so I wanted to break it down into three sections. So the first section I'll be talking about those things that I use to support my emotional and mental well being. The second section is about physical health, and then the third is how I take care of my spirit. And I think all three of those components are interconnected and important for my overall mental health.
Tools for Emotional and Mental Well-Being
THERAPY
Whenever people talk about mental health, therapy is usually the first thing that comes up. So when I realized that I needed help in that dark season, one of the first things I did to get better was to start seeing a therapist. Unfortunately, after just a few sessions, my husband lost his job, we lost our insurance, and I couldn't afford to continue. But even those initial sessions were gold.
My therapist didn't dive deep into my life or my past. It was more like Mental Health 101, where she taught me several tools to tackle anxiety and depression.
My second therapy experience started a year ago. It was about six months into my son's Type One Diabetes diagnosis, and we were deep in the trenches of PDA Autistic burnout for both my boys.
The first six months after my son’s diagnosis were a dizzying whirlwind. When I finally got a chance to take a breath, I realized that I was not okay. So I started therapy again.
This time, I looked for someone that could understand the challenges involved with Type One Diabetes and PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance). Thankfully, I found the perfect fit. She's been wonderful. We talk about things going on in my life and unpack it. It's so helpful to have her perspective, wisdom and insights.
I started with weekly sessions, then eventually moved to every other week, and now I meet with her about once a month. At first it was a lifeline, but as I got more stable, I'd sometimes question if I still needed to go (it can be a bit of an expense). But every time I show up, I continue to gain valuable insights. So I've stuck with it. And every session I come away with something that helps me keep my sanity intact. #worthit
Budget option:
I know that therapy isn't accessible for everyone, and for a few years, it wasn't in the budget for me either. So I wanted to share a free resource that kept me afloat when therapy was out of reach.
Tiffany Roe is a therapist on a mission to change the mental health game. She generously dishes out mental health tips on Instagram and her podcast. She's a lot of fun and shares these mental health insights in vibrant, digestible ways. Fair warning, she's a little edgy, so I know she's not everyone's cup of tea, but I've learned so much valuable information from her.
She also offers courses on different mental health topics that are more affordable than therapy. (And she does a 50% off sale every year.) I haven't taken her courses, so I can't vouch for those, but the free resources are game changers.
She's not the only therapist on social media sharing mental health info and tips. So if she's not your style, find someone else that clicks with you and soak up all their free content.
LIFE COACHING
Besides therapy, I also meet with a life coach regularly. Yep, that's a thing! And let me tell you, it's been life changing. Seriously, super helpful.
There's a podcast I love called The Life Coach School. The host, Brooke Castillo, teaches a tool called The Model: Your thoughts create your feelings. Your feelings create your actions. Your actions produce your results. I’ve learned so much from Brooke’s podcast.
The Life Coach School trains life coaches. My friend Sara, went through their program. (Quick shout out: Sara has her own podcast too: The Ex-Good Girls Podcast.)
I worked with Sara for years as my life coach and she's amazing. We re-examined parts of my life and saw what I could change, starting with my thoughts. It was a big shift!
When I discovered that my kids were neurodivergent, I sought the guidance of a coach specializing in that niche. I enrolled in a program designed for mothers of autistic kids, led by a certified Life Coach School coach. The program offers group coaching and bi-monthly one-on-one sessions, helping me navigate challenges and cultivate supportive thoughts.
Therapy And Coaching?!
Now you might be wondering, why do I do both therapy and coaching? I’ve found that they're useful in different ways.
Let me share an example of a time I was frustrated because someone wasn't doing what I expected.
When I worked with a life coach, she helped me look at the narrative I was holding about the situation and choose thoughts that let me show up with compassion rather than resentment.
When I talked to my therapist about it, she gave an expert perspective. She explained that my expectations were reasonable in this situation and encouraged me to discuss it with that person.
Both approaches were needed—a conversation to express my feelings and a mindset of compassion over resentment.
Both therapy and life coaching have been valuable tools for my mental health.
How to Find a Life Coach
If you're looking for a coach, The Life Coach School website has a coaching directory where you can search by a specific niche. That's how I found the coach I'm working with now who specializes in supporting moms of autistic kids. Tip: Check out different coaches’ free content to find someone that resonates with you.
Budget Option
I know that not everyone has access to one-on-one coaching. Been there. During that time, I soaked up all the free gems on The Life Coach School podcast. If you don't like Brooke’s vibe, check out the directory to find other coaches with free content that resonates with you.
BRAIN DUMP
A tool I’ve learned from both therapists and life coaches, is called a brain dump (aka a thought download, free writing, thought journal or write your worries).
It's simple: jot down every thought swirling in your brain without stressing over grammar or structure. Unload it all, even the crappy thoughts.
It's like throwing it up on the paper. It gives yourself the space to be raw without judgment. It's messy and therapeutic. You can always rip it up and throw it away after to keep those thoughts private.
This strategy helps when I'm upset about a specific situation or just feeling stressed in general without knowing why. It unveils the chaos in my mind, offering clarity and allowing me to intentionally choose new thoughts that serve me better.
Journaling
I also like other types of journaling, such as this quick, five-minute journal exercise I like to do in the morning. I write down five things:
Something I like about myself
Something I'm grateful for
A goal I'm working on and why it matters to me
A mantra for the day
A win from yesterday.
It's an easy, little ritual to shift into good vibes.
I also like to scribble down bits and pieces of my life when the mood strikes—insights, cute stuff my kids did, or random happenings in my world. Writing it out helps my brain process things, and then I have a collection of thoughts to revisit later.
MEDITATION
Another impactful tool my therapist introduced me to is meditation.
Back in the dark days of the worst of my depression, she turned the lights down, played a guided meditation, and gave me the space to absorb it alone. As I sat there listening, meditating for the first time, I remember tears just rolling down my cheeks and thinking to myself, “Have I ever let my mind be still like that?”
The nonjudgmental and encouraging approach of the meditation was so helpful. The voice gently guided me—when your mind wanders, as it will, when you notice, just bring your focus back to your breath.
My therapist advised me to meditate daily, keeping it simple—just a few minutes, no more than ten—focusing solely on my breath. Sometimes I'd notice my mind wandering. Sometimes I'd even doze off. But it wasn't an issue. I'd just gently bring my focus back to my breath—noticing the way it felt coming in and out of my nose and how it filled my chest and my belly.
This practice was crucial for my healing, and to this day, I continue to incorporate meditation into my life regularly. Sometimes I use guided meditations. I really enjoy Keira Brinton’s morning and evening practices. I also like Mindfulness+ with Thomas McConkey. It's a podcast that combines mindfulness lessons with guided meditations. Sometimes, I use the meditations provided through my coaching program. And recently, I discovered Tara Brach’s lovely guided meditations.
But on some days, I return to the simple practice of just focusing on my breath.
Mindfulness
On days when I don't fit in a full meditation, I try to incorporate mindfulness into my day:
I'll take a minute to watch the leaves moving in the wind, observe the ants crawling around the pavement, or watch a hummingbird outside my window.
I try to tune into my body. I like to do an internal scan from my belly to my heart to my mind, asking what each part wants me to know. It sounds cheesy, but I swear the body knows. And whenever I ask, I'll immediately have thoughts of what I need to pay attention to come to my mind.
If I'm in pain, anxious, or stressed, I like to tune into how the sensations feel in my body. Can I describe it? Is it a sharp pain? Dull throbbing? Where is the stress in my body? Is it weighing down my stomach? Do I feel butterflies? Is my heart beating fast?
I'll ask myself if there's something I could do to help the discomfort. Do I need a hot bath? Some red light? A snack?
At mealtimes, I ask myself what sounds good and try to tune into what will actually nourish and fill me.
Another way to practice mindfulness is to pause and take in the information from my senses. What do I see? What do I hear? What do I smell?
These are all little ways to bring some mindfulness into my day.
Listening to my body
Sometimes, my mind is too busy or activated for meditation. Sometimes, it craves movement instead. So I honor that need instead of trying to force the meditation.
Since that first meditation years ago, that helped me through that dark time, I've still struggled with my mental health from time to time. But now I have this wonderful tool to help me navigate those moments.
I can always come back to my breath.
NATURE
Another tool I love that's free and easy is nature. I don't mean embarking on a grand hike or a camping expedition, though if that's your thing, by all means, go for it. I'm just talking about stepping outside, even if it's just for a few moments. Personally, I just sit out on our patio, soak up the sunlight, breathe in the fresh air, ground my feet to the earth, and enjoy the birds singing.
I'm sure you've heard that the sun plays a role in the production of Vitamin D and our sleep hormones. But did you know that exposure to sunlight triggers the release of endorphins, those natural feel good chemicals? I can vouch for it. I always feel better after a dose of sunshine.
There’s also research indicating that birdsong can alleviate anxiety, depression and paranoia. And research that grounding, (aka earthing) which is basically just connecting your body directly to the earth, can have positive effects on pain, wound healing, and sleep. I'll take it.
I've noticed when I'm feeling stressed or upset, heading outside for a few minutes brings me a sense of relief and peace.
Nurturing My Body to Support My Mental Health
Now that I’ve discussed some of the practices and tools I use to support my mental and emotional well-being, I wanted to talk about physical health because I think that our physical health impacts our mental health in a big way. So by supporting my body, I'm also supporting my mind.
SUPPLEMENTS
When my depression flares up, my chiropractor, who also happens to be my dad, helps me know what supplements to take, and every time it's been really helpful. I won't mention any specific supplements because I think everyone's needs are unique. But getting on the right supplement for what I needed at the time was a game changer.
I know some people use medication to support their mental health, and I'm honestly so happy for people to get relief, whether it's through medication or something like supplements. Personally, I've found success with quality supplements, and since they've worked for me, I haven't explored medications. But either way, I've seen firsthand how sometimes our bodies need that extra boost.
I know both supplements and medications can come with different risks, so I know it's important to be informed and consider those decisions thoughtfully. And I know these things aren't typically a one size fits all solution. So that's why I work with my chiropractor-dad to find what will work for me.
If you're trying medication or supplements and it's not helping or making things worse, talk to your doctor—they might have something else that will work better for you. Quick Note: It's important to talk with a physician before making any changes to your regimen.
NOURISHMENT
Besides supplements, I’ve found that nourishing my body, by making sure I eat enough food, is super helpful for my mental health. I know it sounds pretty obvious, but as a busy mom, it can be so easy to forget to eat or skip breakfast, or just grab little snacks all day, or your kids leftovers, instead of a full meal.
Whenever stress starts to creep in and I feel overwhelmed or grumpy, I've made it a habit to pause and check in with myself, “Have you had a meal recently?” If not, I grab a full, satisfying meal and I generally feel much better afterward.
For years, I was caught up in the world of clean eating and different food restrictions. And while I still believe specialized healing diets have their place, to be honest, there were times I probably wasn't giving my body enough calories or protein, especially considering the stress of parenting kids with nervous system disabilities. Stress can burn up a surprising amount of energy!
Over the last couple of years, I learned about the pro-metabolic approach to eating, which emphasizes nourishing your body regularly to reduce stress and provide it with the resources it needs for optimal function.
Understanding how many calories my body needs for my lifestyle and learning to eat balanced meals that includes protein, carbs and fat to support my blood sugar, has been eye opening. I've observed that when I prioritize nourishment and have regular, balanced, satisfying meals, I find myself way better equipped to handle life stresses.
REST
Another factor that helps handle the stress of life is obviously quality sleep. But when people start talking about the importance of quality sleep, I tune out. I think, "Easy for you to say! Have you ever tried to tend to two PDA autistic children with sleep challenges while monitoring blood sugars of a type one diabetic?! Not to mention chronic back pain that wakes me up every night.” Quality sleep is currently unattainable for me, but in these imperfect circumstances, here's a few things I do to rest my body:
Co-Sleeping
Sometimes it's easier to just let go and crash in my boys’ room. For example, take the time shortly after my son's diabetes diagnosis, before we had a CGM (a device that continuously monitors his blood sugar) and I'd have to get up and check his blood sugar multiple times a night with a meter. I decided to just camp out in his room. Since I didn't have to get all the way up to check, it was easier for me to fall back asleep.
Natural Sleep Rhythm
It's been helpful to recognize my chronotype or the natural inclination of my body to sleep at a certain time. I'm an early bird, my husband's a night owl, and thanks to some lingering symptoms of autistic burnout, my kids’ internal clocks are all over the place. So my husband takes the first part of the night shift while I get some sleep, and I take the early morning shift while he sleeps in. It's far from perfect, but it's how we're making it work with our imperfect circumstances.
Rest During the Day
If night was a struggle, I cut myself some slack. I don't expect to move at my usual speed after a rough night, and I look for chances to rest during the day. For example, if the kids are immersed in a show and seem regulated, I'll lay down next to them on the couch and rest my eyes. If I doze off, at least I'm close by, ready to jump up if needed.
Now that my husband works from home, grabbing a nap is easier. But when he used to work in an office, I'd play baby dragons with the boys. It's essentially where I'd lay in bed with my eyes closed, pretending to be the sleeping mommy dragon while they played around me. It wasn't a solid nap, but at least I could rest my eyes while keeping my ears tuned for any issues.
MOVEMENT
Now that we've covered the importance of nourishment and rest, let's talk about another tool that's supportive of my mental health—movement.
I've personally found that incorporating movement into my routine is a really powerful way to shift my mood, lift my spirits, or transition out of a negative headspace. I love intense exercise like strength training since it's always so effective at shifting my mood. But on days where I haven't gotten good sleep or I'm dealing with pain, I'll choose a gentler form of movement, like walking, so I don't add extra stress on my body.
I love taking walks with family or friends, but sometimes it's a struggle to get out. So lately I’ve been using a walking pad to get more steps in.
I've also learned that getting in movement doesn't have to mean a full workout or a long walk. Something as simple as popping in my headphones, dancing around, or even cleaning can work wonders for shifting my mood.
If you're a parent of a PDA kid and thinking to yourself, "I can't even. My kid wouldn't allow it." I hear you. My youngest is often triggered by my movement and anytime I try to leave the house. If he sees me on the treadmill, he immediately turns it off. If I start working out, sometimes he starts screaming. If I try to leave the house while he's awake, he often has a panic attack. So I've adapted by sneaking in movement whenever and wherever I can. Sometimes it's dancing alone in the bathroom for a minute. Sometimes it's waking up early to fit in a walk with a friend while he's asleep. I've tried to let go of any shame about not working out regularly and simply focus on incorporating movement into my life when I can.
TRACKING MY MENSTRUAL CYCLE
Another thing I do to keep my mental health in check, is keeping a close eye on my menstrual cycle. It turns out my mood takes quite the journey throughout the month. By keeping track of where I am in my cycle. It's like having a roadmap for my emotions. It helps me understand why I might be feeling a certain way, and it gives me a bit of perspective when I'm having a rough mental health day. It's a great reminder that the not so great moments won't stick around forever. I like to use a free app called Flo, because I love how it predicts when my period is about to show up, giving me a heads up. But of course you can always go old school and use a regular calendar to keep tabs too.
NERVOUS SYSTEM REGULATION
Recently I've been learning more about the nervous system. I really appreciate the work of Irene Lyon. I took a free course of hers and she explained sympathetic and parasympathetic states better than I had ever heard it before.
I've been exploring different techniques to shift from an activated state to a more relaxed rest and digest state after stressful moments with my kids. Whether it's dealing with low blood sugars or managing panic attacks, I’ve found a few movements that help me stay more regulated in the moment and assist in transitioning out of the stress state afterward.
Tapping
(Huge shout out to Tina Su, the creator of the coaching program I'm in, for introducing me to this one.) Basically, what I do is tap the top of my head while saying, “I release and let this go.” Then I tap my forehead between my eyes while repeating the same phrase. Then the right temple, same phrase. Tapping under the right eye, same phrase. Then my chest, same phrase. And finally, I'll hold my left wrist in my right hand and repeat it twice. “I release and let this go.” Deep breath. “I release and let this go.” Deep breath. It just takes the stress level in my body down a notch so that I can handle the moment better.
Crossing the Midline
Another tool I use during stressful moments is crossing the midline. It's another gem from Tina. It’s simple: I'll hold my phone or any item in one hand and then pass it across my body to the other hand and repeat that a few times. The idea behind this is that when you're stressed, your brain is stuck in a non-creative state. Doing activities that involve crossing the midline helps shift your brain out of that stuck state so that you can access creativity, problem solving, and logic.
Expelling the Stress from my Body
After the intensity of the moment has passed, I like to physically move the stress out of my body. I learned the importance of this from the nervous system coach Afshan Tafler. One way to expel the stress is by shaking your body. You know, like that song “Shake My Sillies Out” from when you were a kid? I literally just shake my body. Alternatively, I can hop on the treadmill for a brisk walk or run in place. Then I like to rub my ears. It sounds silly, but I usually start yawning or tearing up at that point, and I can sense the shift into a more relaxed state.
PHYSICAL ROOT CAUSES
Now, these tools for regulating the nervous system are fantastic for immediate relief, and they set the stage for more long term nervous system regulation. But let's also explore a broader picture. When it comes to mental health in our bodies, sometimes there are physical factors at play. For instance, hormonal imbalances, autoimmune factors, or nutrient deficiencies can all play a role in how we feel. So while the immediate strategies help us cope, it's equally important to consider the underlying factors that might be contributing to mental illness.
For example, when my husband's OCD flared up, his physician ordered labs to rule out stuff like pans or pandas, which are autoimmune issues tied to infections that cause psychiatric symptoms. He also had unexplained weight loss, so we teamed up with a nutritionist to check nutrient levels and gut health.
Or take my son, for example. Before we learned about his diabetes diagnosis, he was displaying psychiatric and mood symptoms that, in hindsight, were linked to his blood sugar issues. And then we worked with a functional MD for comprehensive lab tests, which unveiled additional physical factors influencing his mental health. Sometimes there are physical root causes between mental health struggles and elements like hormones, mold exposure, or heavy metals such as lead toxicity.
Delving into potential physical root causes can provide valuable insights into our mental well being. I love following Karalynne of Just Ingredients. Her story is that she faced and conquered depression by uncovering some of the underlying physical factors. Her account is a valuable source of information.
Nurturing My Soul
Now that I've covered the steps I take to nurture my physical health and also enhance my mental well-being, I want to touch on some of the soul-nurturing practices that play a crucial role in supporting my mental health.
DO LESS
Have you ever come across Trey Kennedy, the comedian? He's got this great saying: "Do less, God bless." And that's pretty much been my motto this past year.
With two kids in recovery from autistic burnout and one with type one diabetes, even the simplest tasks require a lot of effort. I recognize that I need a lot of energy just for the basics during this season, so I've become very intentional about what I take on.
I really resonate with this quote: "One of the things we learn from studying the growth of trees is that during seasons when conditions are ideal, trees grow at a normal rate. However, during seasons when growing conditions are not ideal, trees slow down their growth and devote their energy to the basic elements necessary for survival." - Dieter Uchtdorf. And I think that wisdom extends to our mental health.
I make sure not to cram too much into one week, ensuring there's plenty of space and time for rest. When I’m feeling desperate for relief, it’s tempting to try all the possible therapies or remedies, but I've learned how stress can impede healing. So I'm selective about the therapies that we do in this season, making sure we have the necessary time to rest and keep stress levels down.
CONNECTION
Another thing that's been essential for my mental stability is connection. When I was in that dark season, I hesitated to share what I was going through with my husband. One night I finally mustered up the courage to open up. His response was incredibly loving and supportive. When he was at work, he'd send thoughtful texts to check in on me. If I was having a difficult mental health day, he'd check in often and offer to send help if I needed it. Being vulnerable about mental health struggles can be daunting, but his care has been essential.
I've also discovered the power of connecting with others, too. When I feel down, having a couple of trusted people to call and vent to makes a significant difference. A good vent sesh always lifts my spirits. I'm so thankful for family and friends who consistently reach out and support me, even when I don't always have the capacity to reciprocate.
THE WOO
Since I'm a bit of a woo girl, I want to take a moment to talk about another connection I turn to when I can't or I don't want to navigate things on my own.
Some people pray to God. Some connect with the universe. Some call on their ancestors, spirits, or guides. Some tune into Mother Earth or collective wisdom, while others delve into their deep inner knowing. Personally, I resonate with a bit of it all.
I believe in a power beyond our three-dimensional, earthly existence, and I draw strength, clarity, love and wisdom from that. I’ve found profound comfort in the belief that beyond what meets the eye, there's a wellspring of strength, wisdom and love that has consistently supported me.
PURPOSE
I've also discovered that having a strong sense of purpose in life becomes my anchor during bouts of depression. One significant purpose for me is being there for my kids. While sometimes I think that someone else could fill my role more seamlessly, I know that flaws and all, they want Megan, their imperfect mother the most.
DOING WHAT I LOVE
Another source of purpose and fulfillment in my life is creativity. I have an innate drive to create—whether it's through writing, web design, planning parties or this podcast—being creative fills me.
For my pda autistic kids, their bodies are in a constant state of feeling unsafe, with their threat response often activated in fight flight freeze mode. A key element in calming their sensitive nervous systems, and an important source of solace for them, is engaging in their special interests. Witnessing them immerse themselves in these passions, driven by profound joy and enthusiasm, is truly heartening to watch as a mom, and it serves as a valuable lesson for my own life. I've noticed that when I'm involved in activities I love, a sense of fulfillment, happiness and energy washes over me. Engaging in activities I love contributes significantly to my mental wellbeing, and the act of being creative fills me with joy.
FINDING MEANING IN SUFFERING
When my kids were deep in burnout and my days were consumed by caregiving and supporting dysregulated nervous systems with little time for much else, I found myself sometimes asking, “How can I be happy? How can I find purpose or fulfillment?” Wise coaches reminded me that it's okay to not be happy all the time.
I used to view being sad as a waste of time—wanting to quickly move on with my life—but I've learned that being sad is an integral part of living. Being sad is a part of living my life. The things that make me sad reflect my values. There are things that I want to be sad about and suffering is a universal aspect of being human, and there is purpose in how I respond to the challenging circumstances of my life.
To emphasize this point, I want to share a passage from Man's Search for Meaning by psychiatrist Viktor Frankl. The book recounts his experiences as a prisoner in concentration camps during World War II:
“…but not only creativeness and enjoyment are meaningful. If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering is an irradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death, human life cannot be complete. The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity, even under the most difficult circumstances, to add a deeper meaning to his life. It may remain brave, dignified, and unselfish."
THE MOST IMPORTANT TOOL
And this leads me to what I consider the most important tool I've learned: learning to feel my feelings and sit with uncomfortable emotions.
During that dark time of depression, I came across a post from Tiffany Roe, that therapist I referenced earlier, that taught that emotions are like waves. They crash over you and then they recede.
Understanding that emotions aren't permanent was transformational for me. I remember walking into my garage one night with intense, unbearably painful emotions surging through my body and practicing for that first time, sitting with those awful feelings, imagining a big wave of emotion crashing over me and sitting there with the hope that it would eventually pass.
And it did.
And from then on, I've continued to practice letting the wave of emotion hit me and just sitting with it, armed with the certainty that eventually it will subside.
And it always does.
This tool helps me to just hold on during those dark moments. If I can just hold on as the wave crashes over me, eventually it will pass and I'll feel better again.
Connect
That was a lot. Thanks for letting me share some of my mental health journey with you. Again, I just want to say, if you're struggling with mental health, if you're in the darkness, just hold on. There are things that will help and you can feel better again.
I'm so grateful to have all these tools to support me now, especially as I've gone through some big challenges the past few years.
I'd love to hear from you. What supports your mental health? You can send me a DM or leave a comment on Instagram.
If this podcast sounds like your kind of thing, please subscribe/follow so you can easily catch new episodes. (It's free to subscribe.)
Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast & the show notes is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Consult your physician before making any changes to your health plan. The host, Megan, is not a healthcare provider. Always seek guidance from a qualified health professional for your individual needs.